You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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