I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I look better un-naked...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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