so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
