My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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