your parents love me but you hate me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
