dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
