and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
