Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
