i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
