I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
