Do you still have your period?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
