You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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