remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Life is so much better after having sex.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
