theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
