I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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