You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
