let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
