I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
