He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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