I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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