alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My breasts were aching with rage.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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