we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
