you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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