I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
