she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
