They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
