I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
