Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
