I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
