Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
