Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
