Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
