Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
