wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
