that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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