I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
