I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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