Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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