Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I lost the right to judge tonight
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
