Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
