I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
As shirtless as possible
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
