he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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