Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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