I just made out with a guy for $7.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
