don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
