Heybabeimwearingurpanties
accomplished twins. life is a go
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There's always time for handjobs
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
