kristin has been a bad kristin
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
