My brain says no but my pants say off.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
