There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i now understand why vodka
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
