I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Everything about him screamed your future.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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