Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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