remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
