I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
